He pulled up his sleeve exposing his forearm and looked at the man with expectation and hope. There were others before him with money in their hands waiting for their turn to get the Mehandi tattoo on their forearms. He has chosen the design he wanted on his forearm- the one with lotus and the peacock. That was a rare one, and it would look good. He extended his arm forward whenever the Mehandi man completed his work on a person’s hand. The person standing next to him waved his hand high with an open palm, indicating that the boy would now get spanking if he did not move out of the line. The boy soon withdrew his hand and moved back, but a few moments later, he came back again and kept trying to extend his exposed forearm. Finally, the man called the boy near and asked him which tattoo he wanted on his hand. The boy pointed to the one with lotus and peacock. The man arranged for the boy's arm to be tattooed and paid for it to the Mehandi man. The boy’s face lit up and he looked around at all the people standing there with pride on his face; showing off his tattoo. The boy nodded his head and thanked him in Nepali and ran off with his forearm still exposed and face lit with the full smile.
The Mehndi tattoo on his arm would soon fade away, but the tattoo that was imprinted on his heart by the stranger’s kindness would stay for a very long time.
On a train trip to Trissur last month, the seat next to my husband was occupied by a person who came with his daughter. I found the person’s body language to be different from normal people. When he was trying to talk to his daughter in the front row, he stooped low, focusing his eyes on some invisible point and was a bit clumsy in returning back to his seat. He picked up a conversation with my husband. The conversation soon diverted to technology and the mobile app that helps him to refer books. The app would read out books for him and help him prepare for his class. He had only 10% vision and that too in the straight direction. This explained his peculiar body language. In the midst of the discussion, the conversation deviated to the kindness of a person who had sponsored his education after high school. With the help of the sponsorship, he completed his education and gained the job of a teacher in a government school. He mentioned that without this help he would have become another helpless person struggling to make both ends meet.
We are moved by stories and acts of kindness and feel good, touched and emotional on hearing such stories. But how much does it take to help a stranger or a person in need? Some acts of kindness are motivated by the expectation of getting it back at a later time. We may also have experiences of paying back the kindness we received in our lives, by offering help and kindness to a person who was good to us earlier. We feel obliged, indebted and compelled to take this step of kindness till we feel that the ‘Thulaas’ is balanced. This pay-back is only a reaction to the first act of kindness extended by the person and it stops at paying back; unless the payback is done to the nearest kin of the kind person which again triggers the payback instinct when they are capable enough.
Being the person at the start of a chain reaction of acts of kindness, expecting nothing in return, is often not easy and comes out of a conscious choice with a selfless motive. One great way of making reaction an ‘Uncontrolled Chain Reaction’ is the act of paying forward and not stop with payback - as the stranger at the bank counter taught me.
At the bank cash counter, I searched my bag for a pen. The queue behind me was long and I was keeping people waiting. Not finding a pen, I sheepishly asked the lady near me for a pen; which she gave with a pleasant smile. After filling the form I returned it. But she asked me to keep it. I thought she wanted me to keep it till the transaction is over so that I don’t bother her again when I need a pen. But later when I tried again, she refused saying, “Keep it, I have another pen with me” and left the counter with the same pleasant smile. I was a bit taken aback. That was the first time somebody reacted that way. The people at the counter were watching us with amusement. The lady was kind and did not embarrass me in any way, but had sown a thought. I left the counter with the pen in my bag, deciding to pay forward.
I held out my hand to my son,
He’d extend it back when I’m old
I said, “Be good to others, my son”,
But his reaction was nothing but cold.
I was good to my neighbor, a ton
He would return it later two fold
I said, “Look and learn from me, my son”
But the advice remained unsold.
I lend my hands to the stranger,
He couldn’t return it; he was old.
Then, my son extended hand forward to another
The chain reaction started untold.
-L. Joseph, June 2013
