How the human mind and memory works has never ceased to fascinate me. I was amused by the movie Inside Out with its creative and imaginative representation of the human mind and memory. For the same reason I have read many books that explain the peculiar nature of human mind. One such book is 'Invisible Gorilla' . The beginning of the book, mentions an experiment where you need to watch a video and count the number of times a ball is passed between certain participants. I was confident of my observation skills and was proud that I got the right answer. But I missed a glaring visual- a participant who walked across the stage in a gorilla suit. I thought my husband was pranking me when he brought it to my attention To my utter dismay, I found that he was right when I watched the video again . But yes, this did teach me a lot of things about judging people and how I may miss the glaring gorilla if I am not careful enough.
As I understood from different incidents in my life; the gorilla can be objects, facts or our own attitudes and prejudices that we miss due to the conditioning of our minds.
I had very clear memory of many incidents in my childhood. A very old one is regarding my visit to Goa when I was just about four years old. Even today I can remember clearly the layout of the apartment, the building, the children's park behind it and the beach near by.
Today I believe that many of the old memories stay with you for a reason and you get to figure it out only much later. Three very old memories involving my father made me come to this conclusion. It was my father who taught me how to read time from an analog clock. He drew a clock and explained it in a simple way and I could figure out how to read the time very easily. A few days later when I had difficulty reading the time, he again repeated the process without judging me. Today, whenever I have to explain something I use illustration, synthesis and a little patience, and I see it working each time.
I had seen my fathers tender and patient side even though he was known for his short temper and toughness. As a three year old, I remember sitting on my fathers lap watching the rain through the grilled verandah. After some time, he suggested that we go inside as it was growing cold. Not wanting to stop watching the rain, I insisted that we stay for some more time. Complying, he took me inside, wrapped a towel around my neck and we watched the rain together till my hearts content.
Another memory is my fathers reaction when I broke a new bottle of sauce the same day he bought it. Achan, as I call my father, was always passionate about cooking and loved to experiment. Different types of cakes, grilled chicken, my first taste of chilly chicken, batura (a popular Indian bread) were all his specialties; all of which were novelties at that time. One day as I was helping him clear the shopping bag, the big ketchup bottle that he had purchased for one his special cuisines slipped from my hands and shattered on the floor. I froze and looked at him nervously expecting a dress down. To my surprise his reaction was "Thank goodness it did not fall on your feet!" Then he helped me clean up the mess. As we were doing it I asked him, "Now what will we do? It was a new bottle." "Buy a new one tomorrow. What else?" was his reaction.
Many such memories come right on time and help me see the gorilla in front of me before I become the irritable, impatient, prejudiced and judgmental self that I am. It helped me forgive the broken china, give into the requests of kids for extra time with them, do activities of interest with kids and challenge myself to work on my creative side.
Great memories are treasures worth revisiting. walk down the memory lane and wipe off the dust settled on it so that it glows. There are deep biochemical and neurological explanations for how memories are built. I would say our memories are seals that mould us and make us who we are. The unique patters developed by the different incidents imprint on us and give us the unique personalities that we have. When it begins to crumble and fall off we lose a part of ourselves and we seize to be who we are. This is the realisation that would help us be more humble and grateful selves.
